The Night Before Changeover

‘Twas the night before Changeover and down in our cave
Were two tired faces in need of a shave.
Our sidearms were hung on the blast door with care
And our crew blues were stowed to guard them from wear.

My deputy was nestled, all snug in the bed
While echoes of Skybirds rang through his head.
And I in my sweatsuit and frayed tennis shoes
Was preparing for battle against boredom and blues.

So with overheads dimmed I sat back in my chair,
Commanding the flight with professional flair.
Then out at the fence there arose such a clatter,
The FSC called me to relate the matter.

“Sir, there’s a team at the gate and it really looks queer;
The team chief’s in red … and he’s driving eight deer!”
I asked for the dispatch, but he said “There is none”
So I told him “standby” as I reached for my gun.

“I’m scared” cried the cop as his shoved home his clip,
“He has a strange package and he’s cracking a whip!”
I told him “Be cool,” not to sound the alarm,
”It could be duress” I suggested, “not harm.”

But all hope was gone when I heard next report,
For the team chief was driving right into our fort!
Up over the fence he came in a flash,
This midnight intruder all covered with ash.

I awakened my deputy and yelled “Find your T.O.!”
We called a Two-Bravo and prepared for the foe.
With blast valves now closed and emergency air,
We relayed our status to all those who care.

The next thing that happened really rattled my knees:
The blast door swung open with magical ease.
With guns now drawn and ready as it continued its glide,
I glanced at my deputy, mouth agape and wide-eyed.


And then, in a twinkling, I saw in the shaft
A rather plump fellow acting jolly and daft.
He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.

“No need for those guns” he said with a smile
As he entered the capsule and walked up the aisle.
His laugh was enchanting, his manner quite free
And I felt very at ease as he approached me.

I wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon let me know I had nothing to dread.
A bundle of gifts he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler as he opened his pack.

He reached down inside and pulled out a rope,
Said “I’ve got some gifts here that’ll help you to cope.”
The TV door open, now secured with precision,
I could watch the whole screen with a clear field of vision.

Next out of the bag came a small heater.
“Not hardened,” he chuckled, “but for warmth ya can’t beat ‘er.”
He reached down again and, to my great surprise,
Pulled out a razor blade of typical size.

I blushed just a little as I began to explain
Why a shave on alert is just too mundane.
He laughed again loudly as he moved to the front
Where he did perform the most wonderful stunt.

He took careful aim and then with great zeal,
Beside “Alarm One” he buried that steel.
Oh joy and delight, my dream’s become real;
I can now have some quiet in spite of that seal!

I stated right then it would be very nice
To have total silence from every device.
“I’ve got just the thing for you poor tired chaps”
And then he pulled out two small plastic caps.

“You place this right here and you place that right there,
And this silver utensil is not dinnerware!”
The jovial old man had pulled from his pack
A piece of flatware with its handle bent back.

“In the proper position and with tension quite tight,
This handy “SACCS Spoon” is a crew dog’s delight.”
He placed all our gifts in just the right places
And when he was done we were two smiling faces.

“And last,” he stated, after scanning our home,
“I have a neat gadget that I picked up in Nome.”
He pulled out a mess of metal and twine
And he looked like an angler as he strung out the line.

It hung from the rafters with a handle and all
And it stretched to the printer through the racks by the wall.
“This special invention as a rule ain’t half bad;
It’ll save you much travel – they call it a RAD.”

“My work’s now complete” he said, “Time to go!
I’ve still more crews to visit in this strange world below.”
So he gathered his bundle and, as he turned to depart,
I thanked the ol’ saint from the depths of my heart.

And then, in a twinkling, he was gone up the shaft.
I looked at my deputy; he looked back and we laughed.
At the top of the shaft they all shouted and waved;
He was gone in an instant ‘cause his road was unpaved.

And they heard him exclaim as he drive out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all, S I L E N T night!”
 
- By 1Lt Greg Ogletree, December 1984